June 26, 2017

Let It Go! – The Spiral of No Control

dont-panic

 

I wrote this poem as I asked myself three questions. I often struggle to let God take control of my life. I want to do things on my own initiative, even though I rarely have control over what occurs around me. With the obvious answers to these listed questions, it becomes apparent that our future is undetermined. Today must be enjoyed because the present is all we have. The moment, now on this day, is what matters most. The future lies beyond our reach. Therefore, without stressing too much over little things, it only makes sense to let go and wait for God to drive the steering wheel in the direction He will have us go. This mentality makes life a lot easier with less worries. Enjoy the poem of this related theme below, titled Spiral of No Control.

 

Spiral of No Control

Can I control it?

No, it was beyond me.

Did I cause it?

No, the cause I could not foresee.

Can I cure it?

No, illness sometimes just comes to be.

If the answer remains “No,”

Give the matter to God

And be certain to know

That we must just let it go.

3/28/16

Legendary Grandparents – Heroes We Always Hope to Be (Poppi, Guy Allison)

The photograph below was taken at Poppi’s last Christmas this past year in 2013 with my sister, Allison. I thought the image depicted the warmth of a unforgettable hug.

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To honor my grandfather in addition to his previous dedication blog post, I also wanted to add this poem. I think the words for the piece speak for all us who have lost a loved one.

Poppi: The Moments Missed

I stare into open space before me in the Corpus Christi sunset skies.
Oh my, I think to myself, how quickly all time flies.
Then in the moment of unsettledness, I remember the warmth
And the gentleness expressed in your last words spoken by your side.

I think of the moments with you missed.
I think of my wedding day, the girl of mine, you never met
The love expressed through my forever wife kissed.

Two more graduations with degrees I continue to earn
The ceremonies you never made with recognition that
I will never stop to study and never stop to learn.

As a man of mature stature, tall, and farmer tanned with one good eye.
He and my blind Boston Terrier, King David, could play the pirate’s patch.
Poppi portrayed the wisdom of a Mister Miyagi and well-formed bonsai.

He served our country in the navy, raised five spirited girls,
Managed a business, adopted a son, ranched a farm,
And often complimented my great good looks and hansom curls.

Like my grandmother from the Cartee clan,
I continue to admire and wonder if I will ever be compared
To the Jesus example set and legend I met in this man.

Some knew him as a friend in his familiar name, Guy.
I knew the grandfather figure of silent strength called Poppi.
Without his presence in our lives, we still fail to say good bye.

He was the stone in our family foundations
As many continue lost in the journey
With no destination in the renewal of Christ inspirations.

The spark between us continues in my heart to electrify
In the angel around I know sitting still on my knees
As reality reminds me of your loss in the tears I cry.

In your honor, I will continually reach for my higher height.
Some doubt me. Some hate me. Some ridicule me.
Grandparents potentially speak beyond the dark with words of light.

After a long fight with demons and the suppression of cancer,
I asked for a miraculous healing for many nights of prayer,
But God planned differently in the spoken words he chose to answer.

I could not appear at your final burial where my heart aches.
My reality cannot accept the truth before me that you are gone.
The moment’s peace before ocean waves crumbles in the water breaks.

I stare into open space before me in the Corpus Christi sunset skies.
Oh my, I think to myself, how quickly all time flies.
Then in the moment of unsettledness, I remember the warmth
And the gentleness expressed in your last words spoken by your side.

August 24, 2014

The Solo Stray Dog with Dark-Hued Angels (Poem Title) – Entranced by a remarkable individual!

Joshua 3:5 (NIV)

Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.”

I would like to honor someone I recently met who continues to change my life on almost an everyday basis, with a poem I worked on throughout this past entire week. I believe the piece to be one of my recent best.

 

The Solo Stray Dog with Dark-Hued Angels

With truth in the hopeless romantic journey of another blogged poem,
Most cannot keep with the broken clock of lost time to the finish line,
But somehow, somewhere, and something within you gazes into my spirit.
You realize there is nothing you want more than to join me in relationship,
As the dark-hued angel joins her hand gently with mine.

I stray through ocean bay city walls searching for security and shelter.
Fresh from a grooming salon my shadowed angel arrives to rescue me.
She whispers sweet quotes of affirmation into my heart for safe self-keeping.
Her voice soothes the unrest that lays dormant in the chambers of my soul.

I never seek to be your excuse to cry. I never seek to upset the balance
Of our adventures through island beach scenes and Ugandan adoptions.
We find a way to make it through the periods of dry deserts
When we both know we never walk away from the hope of eyes staring.

Your brown beautiful circle gleam into my own shining blue sparkles
As I awe struck, under my breath, thank God for the angelic being before me.
With kisses so sweet and so serene, I stand captivated with smiles in this scene
As I barely wrap my head around the sinking ships sitting still in your memory.

You found me through cupid’s arrows on an internet search engine
To discover the deeper meaning of the darkness in a soul I long embraced.
With no judgment or negative thoughts present, you remembered the good
Of my narrative to save the world through the power of words in a pen.

What do I do when I lose the sound of the spring that fills my soul?
I scratch at chalk board screeches to wonder when the next prayer fulfills
The wish of your call to my ear, listening intentionally to concerns
Expressed from the depths of your heart resounding with harps so loud.

I hear you. I fear losing your presence, worried with what’s wrong
Inside from the outside looking in, with no words murmured to me.
Your grace in glamour presents a symmetrical body others jealously glare
At fine legs and slenderness models die in hopes to attain.

Always on my mind, stars eclipse in failure to shine in the bewilderment
Of love occurring close behind with short hair, body art,
And symbols that resemble miraculous meanings to strengthen the elegance
Of your name, personality, and aura of amazing wonders in light shining.

The girl with the dragon tattoo captures my attention unlike any before her.
In our name, I finding meaning so I am still holding onto you
With every effort, sweat soaked, tear, and blood drop I give
To further strengthen you’re okay with broken lights on the freeway.

This stray dog never forgets his way home to your arms in omnipotent
Love with arms wrapped around to collide sin to sin, connection
Stronger than we ever mated in dire and drastic circumstances before.
I am still holding onto your hand as I cliff dive into your life full board.

With truth in the hopeless romantic journey of another blogged poem,
Most cannot keep with the broken clock of lost time to the finish line,
But somehow, somewhere, and something within you gazes into my spirit.
You realize there is nothing you want more than to join me in relationship,
As the dark-hued angel joins her hand gently with mine.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Below you will notice some angelic artwork pictures that awed me and the words you read in this pieced blog entry. Please realize these images are not original works with the given citations and websites below.

 

1_Even_Angels_Cry_by_robinqm

2_spiral-enslaved-angel-i10930

3_angels-244743-480x320

4_8ddf9cb5fe6d9b5b3ce0480729b38829

5_6a00d8341bffb053ef0120a7596627970b-500wi

1- (http://naesnest.me/2012/02/06/angels-cry/)

2- (http://www.europosters.eu/posters/spiral-enslaved-angel-v16404)

3- (http://walls4joy.com/wallpaper/244743-angels)

4- (http://www.pinterest.com/pin/448671181597669937/)

5- (http://mattstone.blogs.com/photos/angel_art/dream-woman-dark-angel.html)

Year of 2014, A Poem of New Year Extraordinary Magnitude

Year of 2014 (Title of Poem)

In the year 2014,
I will never be like the disgrace you are.
In the year 2014,
God will heal the soul torn scar.

In the year 2014,
I will lead in the capacity you failed.
In the year 2014,
Your cowardly ways God already unveiled.

In the year 2014,
I will leave this Pharisee far behind.
In the year 2014,
God teaches me to touch the hearts of all mankind.

In the year 2014,
I will bring Glory to His Heavenly Name.
In the year 2014,
Your dishonor paints the truth of your shame.

In the year 2014,
I will let go of doubt, disdain, and disgust.
In the year 2014,
God builds once again my living trust.

In the year 2014,
I will never again react in the anger you enticed.
In the year 2014,
Your pride offsets the forgiveness of sins in Christ.

In the year 2014,
I praise the Lord for adversity you created.
In the year 2014,
God knows that your day predestined stands dated.

In the year 2014,
I will remember the blessings in lessons I won.
In the year 2014,
Your mistakes in my life are now withdrawn.

In the year 2014,
I will rise to higher heights in new found inspiration.
In the year 2014,
God solidified a new found unshaken firm foundation.

JLC iii, 12/14/13

In the year 2013, the Pharisees with not bring me down!

Year of 2013

In the year 2013,
I will never be like the disgrace you are.
In the year 2013,
God will heal the soul torn scar.

In the year 2013,
I will lead in the capacity you failed.
In the year 2013,
Your cowardly ways God has already unveiled.

In the year 2013,
I will leave this Pharisee far behind.
In the year 2013,
God teaches me to touch the hearts of all mankind.

In the year 2013,
I will bring Glory to His Heavenly Name.
In the year 2013,
Your dishonor paints the truth of your shame.

In the year 2013,
I will let go of doubt, disdain, and disgust.
In the year 2013,
God builds once again my living trust.

In the year 2013,
I will never again react in the anger you enticed.
In the year 2013,
Your pride offset the forgiveness of sins in Christ.

In the year 2013,
I praise the Lord for adversity you created.
In the year 2013,
God knows that your day predestined stands dated.

In the year 2013,
I will remember the blessings in lessons I won.
In the year 2013,
Your mistakes in my life are now withdrawn.

In the year 2013,
I will rise to higher heights in new found inspiration.
In the year 2013,
God solidified a new found unshaken firm foundation.

JLC iii, 1/14/13

This poem is about a past leader who really disappointed me in 2012. He simply pretended to be someone he was not, much like a Pharisee, supposedly geared towards the service of others. While over me, I felt like he tried to bring me and other members of his staff down because he possessed a badge of authority. He utilized the label of managing and fell short on many levels in the true definition of exceptional leadership.

Scott Williams distinguishes the difference in his video below with simple words of simple truth. While not directly apparent, this video certainly relates to these leadership observations and the depth of the poem I wrote.

The Yoga Guru Suspended in Time, a poem of her own uncertainty.

Yoga Meditation

I met my guru at a wedding of all places.
Her peace shined bright among the many faces.
Through a camera lens I stared captivated
The time lapse of a picture felt a second sedated.
A thin figure for which models die,
And long waves that swayed every fair eye.
Miss Green lost the center of attention
In the silent minute eye of beauty in suspension.
I struck up a sentence with nervous knees knocking
I would fall if I tried to stand and start walking.
We sat and began with her Mom to talk.
In sweet words seconds stopped time’s clock.
She said yes when asked for a gentleman call.
I breathed deeply at the wishful thought I recall.
We met on two present moments not easy to forget.
Her new pursuit for Christ appealed to me I admit.
You do not text. You do not Facebook. You do not call.
The guru ignored me once my hopes stood in free fall.
Many promises fail to keep when girls mistake
The risk involved in moves we guys tend not to make.
No risk involves the wait for a guy to step forward
In the girl we pursue and move toward.
The Yoga Guru taught me to presently just be
To enjoy James Cartee in the moment I see.
I stand still to catch the drop of rain in my hand;
However with a regret for fondness unplanned
As soon as our cheeks touched she disappeared.
Too late for my heart in the chance I feared.
With the old nice guy words and excuse
She left me so I now sit in my own silent muse.
She claimed the enjoyment of our conversations
In the midst of her own yoga inspirations.
How can I believe anything you say
When you run with no chance convinced to stay?
You never gave this romance
The deserved prayer answered for a chance.
Arms wide open knees bent in this stance
I believe you were afraid of the dance
In your own warning, you took it so serious
Your unmet lips leave me delirious
Because my yoga guru defines mysterious
I stand here for your words enchanted,
But I struggle to let go with the wish I just can’t.
The hurt you fail to see and possibly even care
With the way of the wind a risk you despair
In the security of something so sweet so rare
Travel you avoid life to be caught in the snare
You left with a chance you could not bear.
The Yoga Guru failed in her own present lesson to be
When she decided she could not take a plunge with me.

JLC iii, 12/22/12

I looked for many videos on beginner Yoga movements for those interested. Some in my limited view came across as weird. This female instructor portrayed someone normal.

Hope in The One Who Comes Next – Poetry by James Cartee

This photograph is just one of many taken in Peru and other areas of South America by creator of this blog, James Cartee. His work is available for view and purchase at the following website: www.jamescartee.smugmug.com

 

Hope in The One Who Comes Next – Poetry by James Cartee

I miss the sound of you
That strikes my heart.
Strings play beautiful symphony music
At the steps of your pace.
I never won with a crush
On the playground
With a wild imagination.
You would not have me
At the end of my pursuit in the chase.
I lost without remorse
For in my heart
I gave it my absolute all;
I gave it my absolute best.
I stand proud today hopeful
In the one who comes next.

With continual struggle of stagnancy
In a new home I loathe,
Even three years after last contact
Through mutual good byes,
You stand and serve
In frequent mindful imagery.
In transition as a partner in presence,
I dream you would alleviate my fallen feelings.
I was wrong to expect such from God
And from you in circumstances beyond control.
Somehow I still feel you lost,
But many choose to play it safe
Without running the risk to take ministry
To a newfound level for thousands.
I shock and shine others in unseen ways
With outgoing boldness unlike most people.
I cannot fathom a lifetime without
Service towards a higher purpose.
We serve in an army of light
For the salvation of the lost,
The plight of the fatherless,
And the next coming of The Christ.
You poisoned me with false words,
And I fell into the bear trap
Of an abyss with no end.
I imagined in a message from God
What would never be.
If only you saw what I see,
Then hearts connect for eternity.
It no longer matters what you want
Because together we serve God
In His timing, in His ways,
And to the very end of our earthly days.
You missed the journey,
And now I gallop into the sunset
With my White Knight,
Unstoppable alone until the end comes.

I miss the sound of you
That strikes my heart.
Strings play beautiful symphony music
At the steps of your pace.
I never won with a crush
On the playground
With a wild imagination.
You would not have me
At the end of my pursuit in the chase.
I lost without remorse
For in my heart
I gave it my absolute all;
I gave it my absolute best.
I stand proud today hopeful
In the one who comes next.

JLC iii, 11/9/12

An Old Poem Published – Libby’s Goodbye

I wrote this poem as a “Good-Bye” to a girl who at one time rocked my world for a very short period where our time together seemed like time standing still. Unfortunately with circumstances beyond my control, it just did not work out. Libby had a good heart and saw the best in me, past my faults, a quality many in today’s society lack the ability to do. This poem will be included in my soon-to-be-contract-signed book, Charismania.

This poem also reminds me of another girl I recently pursued. While less traumatic than Libby, many of the details correlate on many just the same as before. I guess we travel through some repetitive seasons once in 2007 and now in 2012 with another girl.

Libby’s Goodbye

When things don’t exactly go your way,
Asking God to let them do so is often what people pray.
The other night I got an email with one phrase that tore my heart.
My hopes in something anew were torn apart.
I had a sunset evening to express myself,
But because of fear, I put my strong feelings on the shelf.
All the signs led to interest N. B. would say,
And my heart is incomplete at the end of the day.
I didn’t get a chance, and that was my own fault.
Every time I see you, the baby inside me does a summersault.
Your presence in the same room as myself makes me feel alive.
The burst within my heart feels like the explosion of a beehive.
With thoughts of your Grace and my regrets, I lie awake at night.
In your soul and spirit for life, I see the Lord’s light.
An extra perk is that I notice you are a gorgeous sight.
On Folly Beach staring at the ocean, wishing you were there felt so right.
Returning into a place and town that I have come to love,
God sent some unsettling news from above:
“I’m dating a young man that I’m completely head over heels for.”
On my heart slammed a knife and a door.
Jets will continue to fly, and eagles will continue to soar.
I yearn to get to know you more.
Jealousy to be with you is a root of many sins,
But once more, I am only one of many men.
Through a thousand thorn bushes my heart will go,
Through hundreds of hills and mountains of snow,
I must learn to have faith in God and trust in Him I know.
Because of you if you are even aware, in Him I continue to grow.
Told that dating or a relationship would not happen for awhile,
I thought I had more time to sprint my mile.
The lesson: Don’t hesitate to act!
I’m extremely sorrowful because of that life lesson and fact.
At this point in time, there is nothing that I wouldn’t do
If I knew that it would create happiness within you.
To hold your hand in a Hero movie and make a memorable first kiss,
This is an adventure that for right now I must miss.
Whether dreams come true or a friendship becomes a fable,
My feelings are now known. They are on the table.
Who knows what will happen with the story?
But I don’t care as long as I give God the glory.
Through all my being, moments, and strife,
God is my refuge. He is the center of my life.
No matter what happens…I will always be here.
I may wallow in self-pity or shed one of many a tear.
For my heart is hurting to now be by your side.
Sometimes one must not be selfish and therefore in himself hide.
I am cocky, confident, and I have much pride.
I will do my best to not let that stand in the way of your story and lifelong ride.
I have recently learned that the center of any relationship is communication.
Openness, sincerity, and honesty can make a friendship and inspiration.
Thirty seconds with you creates inside of me a lovely, spine tingling sensation,
But our lack of communication has generated a broken  heart
For the possibility of a close relation.
Someone else stole the dance,
And I didn’t even get a fair chance.
Reluctant to give me your time,
I was cut off long before I ever wrote this rhyme.
Perhaps you were fearful of the God-filled passion that lives within me,
But honestly, my heart and that passion was something
With which you took no time to analyze and see.
I want to be your friend.
As a true friend, I am there until the very end.
Does your boyfriend have that passion to live?
Does he have the will to unconditionally give?
Does he have direction and know what he wants?
Does he aimlessly search through life as a routine and have no crazy stunts?
Without a shadow of a doubt, does he care for you with all his being?
When he looks into your eyes, does he honestly know what he is seeing?
I must learn to leave you be and just let go
Because being with you is something that will probably never happen;
This I now know.
I drew this picture of what you described to me
Before you hooked up and him you were with.
If I gave it to someone else,
It would not be for that other and in itself become a myth.
My talent for art in this piece I hope that you like.
Back to the beach soon I might soon go to reflect and hike.
Your uniqueness makes desires for one to become a better man
Through which God reveals himself and his intimate individual plan.
Staring at the specs of stars and the visibly white moon,
I hope to see God’s blessing even more in your life very soon.
With you, I would love to just hang out,
But this may be all I can give
Because of the hurt you have caused without a doubt.
Although for me this may be crappy and sound somewhat sappy,
I will do my best to serve you and do whatever makes you happy.

JLC iii, 2/23/2007

Protector of My Cuz and the Rest of the Little Ones

I believe after this week’s celebration of Matteye Monday’s engagement that it seemed appropriate to post a poem long ago dedicated to her as a reminder of the adversity faced to reach her final destination.

I think we all love and seek to protect those family members or friends we see hurt in circumstances beyond our control. This poem expresses such feelings. The poem was published in my book along with the beautiful picture of my cousin, Matteye May, shown above, Twenty-Three: In the Beginning. Click here to purchase.

Protector of My Cuz and the Rest of the Little Ones

You say I am protector of the little ones.
Yep I must say that I feel like Max king of the jungle
Where the wild things are.
Critics criticize.
Nosy relatives analyze.
They never understand works of the Spirit in disguise.
Oh my, how time flies?
You have grown up into the fit shape of a true winner.
I am proud because you truly understand
The forgiveness of what it means to be a sinner.
You seek someone who generally understands the same truth,
But assigned dates your guardians judge
What they claim you do not know in your youth.
I find it fascinating how spiritually mature you are
In a household that does not understand.
Perhaps that is because they still know but still pretend
In the false pretenses of this Jesus man.
Relationship is an active process that requires
Drive and sought after reflection in the Word,
Sometimes this reflection seems like something
They have never in the form of a lesson heard.
Individuals are the Christians they claim to be,
But they never walk the walk; they only talk the talk.
I perceive a man’s character by what he does rather than what he says.
You receive grace in a manner that accepts
His Will in a manner they do not understand,
But that is because they are lost in the selfishness of a mirage
Caught in their own desert land.
They thirst for water but search for what they cannot find
Because the scales on their eyes hide
What they fail to see in truth to eyes so blind.
I will guard one’s heart as the pleasure of an older cousin should.
To mess with my cousin,
They offer to take back words they wish they could.
When found at fault in the midst of a heinous crime,
I will catch them red-handed with blame in what they claim to mime.
Some are lost more than they are found.
Some only listen to football in television sounds.
I feel sorry but simultaneously I pray
That they realize the joy of His love in the praises we sing.

JLC iii, 10/20/10

No Longer Here – Another Poem from a Year Ago Shared

You underestimate the beauty of your heart apparent in the light so clear.
All I wanted was the right partner to dance in my approaching thirtieth year.
Well now in pursuit you no longer possess any reason for further fear
Because when you turn around I will no longer be here.

Your attention seems limited at best through conversation and the written word;
However I cannot resist the draw of your bow and string.
Focused on God beyond humanly measure,
For in heaven above, you confidently claim your promised treasure.
I cannot gather your undivided attention to save the life of hope
As every word slides down the slippery slope of sand lost.
Men try often beat down with trickery for future diligence to see
And overlook the strengths of my relationship with Christ in me.
You’re caught up in the net of life with youth of what next to do
And missed the guy made of dreams before your very presence.
You made up your mind with honesty shared
Even in friendship I wonder if you really cared.
God-destined and God-gifted you push boundaries beyond
Where another misses out if they fail to know you.
I seek to know the beautiful you remembered from a few years ago
Because with messages written hearts began together to grow.
You blow my expectations beyond in the mirror with your image daily seen
Because I sit still in prayer mesmerized by the person I believe you to be.

You underestimate the beauty of your heart apparent in the light so clear.
All I wanted was the right partner to dance in my approaching thirtieth year.
Well now in pursuit you no longer possess any reason for further fear
Because when you turn around I will no longer be here.

JLC iii, 8/19/11