June 26, 2017

Where did James Cartee go? An update on life….

But he who endures to the end shall be saved.

Matthew 24:13 (NKJV)

I have not officially written a text for this blog since January 18, 2017. That is quite a long time. Many things have changed since then. This entry is my gallant effort to write again, perhaps rebirthing back into life.

Lisa, my wife, and I are still settling into Nashville as our home and maybe even the future city where we will raise our children. We both have jobs that pay the bills but by no means satisfy desires of the soul. As some Christians often say, God has a larger mission for both Lisa and I in mind. One might say that I feel brighter days ahead in my bones at the core of my soul.

Writers rise out of the darkest places one word at a time. My story encountered a silent place where sickness encompassed my body and mind. I was definitely not feeling like myself, and nearly after one year later, I showed signs of my own discovery and with no intentions to rhyme, my own recovery.

We rise from the ashes when our minds come into the presence of the Lord in the form of resurrection. I start again.

Perhaps the greatest lesson I have accepted within myself is to lower my expectations while heightening my hopes. If you saw my list for one day’s activities to complete, it would overwhelm almost any person. I separate myself from those very lists. I celebrate what I have accomplished in a day’s time, rather than beat myself up for what I could not do, which leads to my second greatest lesson coming to life in the past year….

I will not and cannot beat myself up. The shame, inner blame, and guilt that results becomes self-destructive to the point of no return. Negative thoughts lead to more negative thoughts where depression looms, keeping one from moving forward to enjoy the moment of now as a newly-wed, as a new man, and as the new beginning awaits me.

I strive for more because I believe I am more than I previously accepted myself to be. While circumstances buried me, I survived once again to tell of my journey once more and to write another day for many more years to come.

James L. Cartee, III, returns as a better person for the valley I have leaped across. I will be back more often as I hope to complete at least one blog entry a week. For the betterment of my own existence, I am back!

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